One of the greatest emotional breakthroughs of my life was when I finally accepted that every quality that exists in humanity in some way lives in me; that this individual human being that is “Jenny” is a tiny but complete and whole aspect of the greater universe. Another way to describe this would be to see myself as the microcosm of the macrocosm. This is the basis of shadow work. Although our egos would have us believe that we are unique individuals having an individual life experience quite separate to anyone else, in reality this is an illusion. We are, in fact, deeply connected human beings at every level. One of the fastest ways to “bust through” the illusion of separateness is to do shadow work.
While being involved with The Ford Institute for many years in the USA I had the privilege of being constantly reminded of the unifying aspect of shadow work. Whenever I am coaching clients through Blueprint or facilitating a shadow interactive, I witness again how the process of “owning” our shadows begins to dissolve separateness.
When we see the shadow that we so dislike in another such as stubbornness or arrogance or laziness or selfishness and then turn our attention to how that quality lives in us, we are humbled. How can we not be? The finger that has pointed so long at another finally understands it is part of a hand that has several fingers pointing back at itself.
Or perhaps we see that we have spent so much time denying a particular quality that we have never considered the “gold nugget” that resides at the centre of the perceived negative quality. The two most useful qualities in helping me to nurture myself back to health in the USA were laziness and selfishness. They both taught me to say “no”, to let go of guilt and to really take care of myself. I couldn’t be without them now (actually I never was; I was in shadow denial!).
When we truly understand and experience that we are everything, we are presented with the ultimate gift; one that eludes so many human beings; we receive self-acceptance. I am not sure that there is any greater gift. With self acceptance we cease battling against our self and against others. When the war is over we are free to be all we can be in the world; to use all our talents, all our qualities, all our capabilitesl. If there was ever a time when this world needed that; it is now.
