I have a question for you. Don’t rush into answering it; just let it settle itself gently upon you for a while, like a soft mist. Here it is: “How worthy are you of living your best life,of living a life filled with joy, richness, and blessings of every kind?” Pause. Breathe.
Some of you may smile and acknowledge immediately that you are a deeply worthy human being. I suspect that many of you will not be so sure.
One of the common themes that runs though my coaching sessions with my clients is this very issue of worthiness. At one time or another most human beings seem to come face to face with the belief that they are “not enough” in one or more areas of their life. This belief may manifest in various ways: fear, resistance, loneliness, jealousy, frustration, despair or hopelessness. But when one mines a little deeper into the feelings it is possible to reveal what really underlies the unhappiness for so many people – this entrenched and wretched belief that “I’m not worthy” or “I’m not good enough”.
There are many reasonable theories of why so many of us struggle, at one time or another, with these feeling of unworthiness: childhood traumas, teenage stumbles and embarrassments, failures and hurt in our early twenties and so on. For some reason the innate sense of self worth that we come into this world with and that floods us as little children seems to run dry as we get older. We see the light in others yet become blind to our own. The little voice in our head limits us and questions our abilities. We are tempted to play small and to stay safe.
I played small and safe for years; a safe job and a safe life. A times I would catch a glimpse of my own magnificence and it would terrify me. So I would stuff it back down to the place it came from and carry on being small and safe. It was much more comfortable there. Yes, there was regret and frustration. Yes, there was jealousy of others who believed in themselves enough to release their light. But at least I was safe. Or, so I thought.
It would take years for me to bust through the illusion that not being all I could be was an option. After years of study I came to see that it was not my sense of unworthiness that kept me small; it was terror of my light – the passion, power and capability that filled every cell of my being. What once had kept me trapped became my ticket to freedom; to living a life that I truly loved.
In her book A Return to Love Marianne Williamson tells us that “our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.”
Maybe you are hiding a light that frightens you with its brilliance. If so, ask yourself “what is it costing me to keep it hidden?” Then, allow yourself to see one thing you could do this week that would begin the revealing process.
Williamson reminds us that our playing small does not serve the world. If there was ever a time when our world needed serving it is now. Are you ready to shine?
